They say you can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find that you can make yourself feel better by looking at others who also didn’t get what they want. That’s how that song goes, right?
From minor mishaps to big disasters, these people are in serious need of a long vacation.
1. “I asked the kids to check on how many eggs we had left, quote ‘We have plenty.'”
I know you want to trust your kids because you love them, but when has that ever gone well?
2. “My neighbours had a party last night. That’s my trampoline.”
Do you happen to have the X-Men as neighbors?
3. “New AirPods Pro now sound like a drunk bee.”
Does no one in your house check pockets? My mom flipped them inside out religiously when I was growing up, leaving me with that same paranoia.
4. “Thought the can felt a little light as I was preparing dinner tonight…”
Guess you’re having soup and by soup I mean slightly potato-flavored water!
5. “Christmas Lunch ruined for a few extra $ on weigh-in.”
I’ve never been more grateful that I’m allergic to shellfish.
6. “Wasn’t on, nobody standing near it, and my oven just…shattered.”
Seeing all these instances of glass items just exploding makes me real nervous about owning a glass-top desk.
7. “Got this for Christmas because I always lose my keys, but now I can’t find my keys to put it on the keychain.”
The good news is this will be the last time you’ll ever need to look!
8. “Never broke a phone before I’m [sic] my life, first day I get my new one with no insurance I drop it 4 feet and this happens.”
It looks like a case would help. Not help fix it, but hide it so you can pretend like it never happened.
9. Snowed in.
All things considered, if you leave your window open all night and the only thing that happens is that you get snow in your car, that’s pretty lucky.
10. “This morning I added curry instead of cinnamon in my hot milk.”
Is it too late to turn this into a soup? Or a sauce of some kind?
11. “My first apple pie I made last night got left on the roof of my car never to be seen again.”
Who’s the more likely thief, a raccoon or a random person who thought the car-roof-pie was free for the taking?
12. “Whole Foods was out of the sausage pizza we wanted, so they sent us a substitute…”
They said, “If you want pizza so bad, make it yourself.”
13. “I had a full Monster thrown into my tail light.”
What a throw. Like, sorry about your tail light but whoever did that had a good arm.
14. “Postal delivery person forgot to lock my street’s cluster of mail/parcel boxes, and someone decided to steal all the contents.”
I hope the thief enjoyed everyone’s junk mail, I guess.
15. “This is what happens when you forget to poke a hole in spaghetti squash and then attempt to cut it after it’s baked. It explodes in your face!”
I’ll mark this down as a hyper-specific piece of information that I’ll only remember in my time of need.
16. “If you don’t succeed, try again.”
And if you don’t succeed again, cry about it.
17. “Put my change jar in my trunk so I could take it to the bank.”
It looks annoying but that $30 payout will be so worth it.
18. “Spent 30 min making sauce to find my only box of pasta went bad (expires 2023).”
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a rotten box of pasta before. I didn’t even know it could happen. Upsetting, thank you.
19. “I told her to shower, instead of rinse her hair out, right after [dyeing] it.”
That dye ran so much I’m scared to ask if that towel was originally purple or not.
20. “When you live in Svalbard, Norway and forgot to close the window to the home office.”
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, eeeeverywhere you gooo. Like, everywhere. Really.
21. “Someone’s nail got stuck in the elevator button.”
Not sure which is more impressive, them threading the needle to get it stuck in the first place, or the insanely strong grip this elevator has.
22. “My mischievous bengal dumps my office garbage out everyday to sleep in it.”
If he’s doing it every single day, I think that’s just his trashcan now.
23. “Tried to buzzcut my hair because all the barbers were closed, clipper called it quits halfway through.”
Here’s hoping you have a pretty decent hat collection, you’re gonna need it.
24. “I let my daughter put some stickers on my legs, apparently my skin did not agree with the adhesive. Four days later and they’ve just begun to fade.”
Temporary tattoos, but make them…spicy. Irritating.
25. “Went to the dentist to make the last payment on $12,000 of work done. This is the toilet paper in his office restroom.”
To unlock the secret, double-ply paper, you’ll have to tack on an extra few hundred dollars to your total there.
26. “Peeled this normal sized cauliflower to reveal a rather disappointing cauli-bud.”
Too small for a family meal, but the perfect size for a game of softball.
27. “Just finished adding the last ingredient to some homemade seasoning salt.”
Was the last ingredient “floor dust”? Well, it is now.
28. “Someone wanted to see if the ice would hold a car.”
And it did! For a while. Then it didn’t.
29. “Wanted to be more of a responsible college student this quarter, [I] didn’t pay attention to the year on the packaging.”
The universe decided you would live through 2020 twice. Godspeed.
30. “My snowblower found a package full of sardines. Some even managed to fly out the chute into the yard.”
Of all the things it could run over, it had to be something that would just stink up your yard. Of course.